Kian the Menace

Foreward:

Matapos ang drama sa last post ko, na realize ko na hindi ko dapat na i allow na i devour ng sadness ang life ko… i have to move forward and do what i do before, just like this blog! A lot of people say na "I’m a writter", pero ang sabi ko, hindi naman ako nag susulat? nagtatype ako ng articles? so I’m a typer! (corny…) well, lets get down to the topic and kick some Senatoriables ass!

Well, malapit na ang eleksyon, napakadaming poster na ang nagkalat, ngayon, i made this post para tuligsain ang mga TV ads ng mga magagaling nating senatoriables… Don’t get me wrong, i know magaganda naman ang intentions nyo mga pare kong senatoriables, i just made this just for fun… ayaw kong makatanggap ng death threats please? Now lets begin!

Tessie Aquino-Oreta (libreng preschool)

Sa kanyang TV ad, merong isang gusgusing bata ang gustong pumasok sa skul, malungkot na malungkot ang bata. Kaya naman siya ay inakay ng butihing Ginang Oreta at sinabi na bigyan naman natin ng pagkakataong makatungtong sa pre-school ang batang pulubi. Ngayon, ang akin lang napansin, pulubi ba ang batang yun? Kung mapapansin nyo, malusog na malusog ang pangangatawan ng bata, mas malusog pa siyang tignan sa mga batang may perang pampaaral. Bobo ang direktor ng nasabing TV ad, hindi nagiisip…

Edgardo Angara (Ang gara ng buhay)

Sa kanyang latest TV ad, edukasyon din ang kanyang tinalakay. dumaan siya sa mga bata at sinabi na siya ay maaaring maging doktor, guro, etc. At pag daan niya, ngingiti ang batang sinabihan niya. Grabe, ang ganda ng koryograpi! Ang gara ng buhay ng mga batang ito. pwede sa comercial ng toothpaste…

Ping Lacson (H.O.P.E.)

Ang TV add naman ng kagalang galang na si Ping Lacson ang pinaka simple, kumakantang babae lamang at mga mga scene na tumutulong si Ping. Kaso, mukhang ang sumulat ng lyrics ng kanta ay sina Willie Revillame at Joey de Leon, bakit? Because it has a double meaning! "Si Ping, ang kinabukasan! Si Ping, ang kinabukasan!" haha, mag siping daw tayo sa kinabukasan! Idol! Iboboto kita! 2 thumbs up!

Ginang Roco (May pagasa pa ang bagong Pilipinas)

kagabi ko lang napanuod ang TV add na ito. Sa tv add na ito, sinabi nya na siya ang asawa ng yumaong Raul Roco, ngunit ang talagang natutunan ko dito ay walang anak sa labas si Raul Roco. Bakit? kasi, sinabi niya na "Ako ang asawa ng dating Raul Roco, AT ANAK NG KANYANG MGA ANAK!" hehe. logically, walang anak sa labas si Raul Roco. Galing!

NoyNoy Aquino (Yellow Boy)

Sa Tv ad ni pareng noynoy, pinakita ang mga speeches nina Cory Aquino at Benigno Aquino. Pagkatapos, may nagsalita, "Si noynoy din ay may dugong bayani!" Tapos, pinakita ang kanyang kotse at nakasulat "1987, nabaril si noynoy aquino"? huh? anong klaseng kabayanihan yun????

Ralph Recto (Korecto!)

Ang Tv add naman ng ginoong recto ay dalawang side na nagsasayaw, isang ballroom side, at sa kabila ay hiphop. Maganda naman ang message ng kanyang TV add, ngunit, nag sinasabi na niya ang kanyang final word, mapapansin nyo sa background na nag iba ang mga itsura ng mga sumasayaw! naging guard, teacher at kung anu anu pa! Jesus Christ, may magic ang mga dancer ni pareng Ralph.

Mar Roxas (Mr. Palengke)

Walang masyadong bago, parang dinagdagan lang yung dating TV ad nya ng mga nagbabasketbol at sumasayaw na mga lalaki.

Mike Defensor (’tol!)

Eto ang pinaka nakakatakot sa lahat, sa kanyang TV ad, hindi manlang siya kumamay sa mga tao. Sabi nila "iboboto kita para senador!" sabay posing naman si tol! ganda ng ad mo tol! nalaman ko ang mga plataporma mo! Tapos, nang matapos na ang TV ad, pinakita niya satin ang kanyang malaking kamao, na tila nagsasabing, "iboto nyo ko or else!" nanay kupo katakut!

Chit Escudero (…)

Si pareng chit naman, mga student ang mga kabatak, pangako ng kanyang TV ad na matutulungan nya ang mga ito na makapag aral. Sana kung manalo ka, matupad mo yun. Wala akong masabi sa ad mo. Sorry. Wala akong maisip na joke.

Miguel Zubiri (amigo ng bayan!)

Sa kanyang TV ad, puro ngiti ang nakita ko sa kanya. at nalaman ko rin na meron palang mga doctor na bigay na bigay na mag boom tarat tarat. Ang saya.

Manny Villar (Sipag at Tiyaga)

Well, sa TV ad kuya Manny ako maraming natutunan. Natutunan ko na si manny villar ay medyo bopols, bakit? Eh kasi, nakikipag palakihan siya ng bangus sa isang tindero, mas malaki ang kanya, tapos may sumingit na isa pang tindero, may dalang mas malaking isda, ngunit hindi naman ito bangus, talo siya, ngunit nginitian lang nya ang mama. natutunan ko din dito na magaling siyang sumalo ng pala. At higit sa lahat, natutunan ko dn dito na magaling siyang sumayaw. Grabe kuya manny, yan ang mga qualities na kailangan para sa isang senador….

Prospero Pitchay (Itanim)

Ang TV ad ng mamang ito ay madaming version, ngunit isang version ang nakatawag ng pansin sakin. ang eksena: "Pangarap kong makapanggamot ng may sakit" wika ng matandang doktor, sumulpot mula sa kawalan si ginoong Pitchay, "Pangarap kong tuparin ang mga pangarap mo,, ako po si Prospero Pitchay, pro pinoy…" Ayan manong doktor, nag pramis si kuya prospero na magkakalat siya ng sakit para madami kang magamot…

Loren Legarda (…)

Ang theme ng TV ad na ito ay pangkaraniwan lang, nakikisama siya sa mahihirap, nagsasaka kahit puting puti ang damit… hay, hindi ako natutuwa sa tv ad na ito.

Sa mga Senatoriables na may TV ad pero wala dito:

Sorry, wag ka na magtampo…

Moral Lesson:

"Mga ginigiliw kong botante, malalaki na kayo, wag kayong magpadala sa magagandang tv ad, tignan nyo ang kanilang mga plataporma, past performances, at ang ugali nila nung wala pang eleksyon(natural na mabait yan pag campaign period!). At sana sa mga mananalong senador, ayusin nyo naman ang budget ng gobyerno para sa  mga empleyado nila. para lumaki naman sahod ko T_T" -Kian the Menace

Wow, parang kahapon lang when i first posted my first post dito sa blog. Trip trip lang yun and eventualy naging hobby ko ang magsulat ng kung anu anung pangyayari sa buhay ko. Unfortunately, all stars has an end, nakakalungkot pero im closing this blog. This will be my last post in my blog. Well, bakit? kasi…

Nung bago-bago palang itong blog ko, there was a girl whom always reading my posts. tuwing nababasa nya yung blog ko tuwang tuwa siya, tapos naalala ko pa nun, nilagay niya sa shoutout nya, "The best talaga ang blog ni Kian!", and i received a lot of compliments from her. Yun ang nag inspire sakin to continue posting my misadventures. masaya kasi ako pag napapasaya ko siya. So i posted a lot of my misadventures to make her happy. (although one of them made her cry).

And now na I let her go, i guess wala nang dahilan para ituloy ko to. Kasi, every time i post an entry, ang nasa isip ko "mapangiti ko manlang sana siya kahit konti". Parang di ko kayang makapag isip ng ilalagay dito kung di ko iicpin na para sa kanya to.

I miss her na nga eh. Wala nang nagtetext sakin, "Kagigicng ko lang by, naglunch ka na?", "Nakasakay ka na ba ng bus?", "w8, di pa ko unli by, w8 mo ko ha?". Kahit paulit ulit araw araw di ako nagsasawa… I hate to admit but, I really miss her. huhu.

Hay, kahapon, i was so inspired of writting a story of mine. ang haba nun! so I told her that i updated my blog, and i have a special section there for her… Kaya lang, yung dating compliments, d ko natanggap. Actualy matagal na nga siyang hindi nagcocoment dito. But what can I do?

Kahapon, I’m so inspired. Ngayon I’m so down. Hay. Thats life naman. The higher you get in the happiness you have, the harder you’ll fall pag natapos ang iyong kaligayahan.

Conclusion:

Well, finally, i want to thank all the people who waste este, who spend time reading my blog… Kahit yung mga di ko kakilala, i also receved compliments from them. salamat! Kahit na yung iba eh may panlalait din. hehe. Thanks for reading! So pano, hanggang dito na lamang… Hanggang sa muli… Goodbye! (*iyak*) -Kian the Menace

Once upon a time, in a forest, there was a lonely frog sitting in a rock in the middle of a pond. The frog seems to be satisfied on his life, watching other frogs swim, hop, find their mates, while he sits all day alone in the lonesome rock.

One day, the frog realized that he can’t continue his life in this manner. So he decided to leave the rock, and find someone to be his partner.

On his journey, he met a lot of animals in the wild, then the frog immediately fall in love with a cow. He fell in love with this cow because the cow always makes him laugh, and cares for him alot. And despite of their differences. they stay steady for about 3 months.

But suddenly, the cow changed. The cow always always find a way to bug the frog out of her way. And eventualy, the frog let go of the cow. The frog cries all night, bearing the sadness of his first heartbreak.

Some year later, the frog met an owl. They became friends and the frog seems to be falling in love again. But the frog is so confused at the moment, he doesn’t want his heart to be broken again… But he said to himself, "kokak kokak kokak" which transalte to "I have to try again, I love Ms. Owl and i want to be with her for the rest of my life…", so the frog courted the owl, and finally, the owl fell in love with the frog…

The relationship seems to be strong, every waking day seems to be happier than yesterday, but the frog shows so much love, the frog seems to love the owl more than himself. He skip meals just to save money for simple gifts, he skips classes just to be with her, and eventually, his life becomes a big big mess…

But all the sacrifices seems to be not enough for the owl. The owl dated a Carabao, the carabao comes from a rich family, and he’s from a prestigious school in the forest. The owl said that they are just seeing each other, and they are just friends. Jelous as he is, the frog envyed the dates of the owl and the carabao. And one day, the frog ask the owl for a date, it was in August 21, 2003, the owl say yes. The frog became excited! The owl and the frog never dated again for a long time! They decided to have a date tomorrow in a mall in the civilized part of the forest. The frog, as expected, bought things to make the owl happy, (flowers and a huge heart pillow).

The day of their date comes, the frog comes early as usual, their meeting time is 11:30, he arrives at 10:30, what an idiot… he waited an hour, but unfortunately, the owl didn’t show up. The frog tries to call the owl, he’s worried, but the owls cellphone is turned off. Two hours later, the frog decided to go home. And on the way home, he received a message from the owl. "Im so sorry babe, carabao texted me that we need to meet. And i forgot about our date, im sorry." the frogs feeling is so hurt. And he gave the flowers and the heart pillow to a pig, a street beggar. Waste of money.

They texted that night, and the owl asks for her freedom. She said that she seems to be tired of being with the frog… and the frog let her go. And cried all night again. The following day, while walking on the way home, the frog met the owl, and the owl is with the carabao. the owl seems to be embarassed. and the frog almost cried. the frog returned to his rock, enduring the stabbing pain in his pity heart…

The frog decided to forget about love. 3 years have past, the frog loved no one but himself. But a fateful day in January 2006, the frog’s aunt introduced him to a friend of her, a dove… the dove makes the frog happy each time they talked. and again, the frog fell in love. And out of that love, the frog composed a poem, dedicated to the dove…

A Day I Wont Forget
By Frog Boy

Tuesday, the day when i met
you, my angel.
Knowing you just made my day
When i look into your eyes
i’ve seen
my day would be bright as Polaris.

I can see the things you don’t
want me to know
I can see the feelings that
you don’t show
When your hand slide down to
my hands,
The feelings of LOVE will
show again.

Since then…
Happy & content is how i
feel with you
You never want me to be in
sorrow
You try to please me in every
way
Which make me love you more
each day.

Since then…
You are in my thought both
day & night
You bring in my morning light
When sleep consumes me, you
are near
Either on my mind or being
just there.

My dreams have been sweeter
since i met you
That day is a day i will
never forget
If i had a day to live over
again
That day in May is where i’d
choose to start again
I LOVE YOU Dove

The poem was soley dedicated to the dove, despite of the wrong grammars, he still dedicate it to her…

The frog always says to the dove that he love her, but everytime he said his feelings, the dove seems to be not interested. so apparently, the frog gave up the feelings for her. (the frog seems to be impatients when it comes to love) but later, when the frogs feeling was almost gone, the frog found out that she loves him too. and that hurts… its too late… and later on, the dove send back the poem to the frog. which really hurt his feelings more.

The Best Love Story Begins Here!

*ommited…

Frog’s message to readers:

Well, ummm, thanks for reading this long long story of mine, who’s the frog anyways? you have no idea huh? well, maybe he’s a guy who hates frog so much… and oh, sorry for the wrong grammar, spelling, wrong words usage, and any errors on this story. I’m just a frog, im not perfect. frogs commits mistakes too! And this is the first time that i made paragraphs that reached this long in plain english! So long! kokak! kokak! kokak!

Kahapon, uwian, nakasakay ako ng bus na swerte namang may isa pang upuan para sakin. isang upuan sa pang dalawahan, sa bandang gitna. At maniniwala ba kayo na ang nakatabi ko ay isang alien?

Ang alien na tinutukoy ko ay hindi nanggaling sa outer space, siya ay nanggaling sa Canada. Pano ko nalaman na galing ng Canada? Eh kinausap ako nung alien eh. hehe.

Nagsimula ito nang makarating kami sa Coastal Raod, halos kareregister ko lang nun sa bwisit na unlimited text ng Smart. Ngunit napakalungkot dahil ang Christa ko ay matutulog daw. so ayun, wala na akong magawa. Kaya nanuod nalang ako ng Full House sa TV onboard nung bus. Ngunit nagulat ako at nanlamig, kinausap ako ng Alien! Ang alien ay mukhang 30+ years old, at maputi… at eto ang aming usapan… (ang usapang ito ay maaring hindi ang mga eksaktong salita na napag usapan namin, ngunit ang tunay na diwa ay nakasulat parin sa ibaba…):

Alien: How long have you been here in the Philippines?

Kian: Wat? Me?

Alien: Yeah, you, how long have you been here in the Philippines?

Kian: Ah, Ser, ay was born hir in da pilipins, aym a Pilipino ser.

Alien: Oooo, I see. Well, i came from Canada, I came all the way here to meet my hubby again ang do drill dance…

Kian: Dril dans?

Alien: Yeah drill dance!

Kian: Wat das dril dans supows tu min ser?

Alien: C’mon boy, i knew you know what i mean!

Kian: Ok… ay get it naw…

Alien: Hohoho, you know what, i met her in IRC, and we first do the drill dance in hongkong! she works there at that time, so i got there and do her. hoho.

Kian: uhuh… (walang masabi sa kadaldalan ng kumag)

Alien: But now that she’s here, i’m gonna meet her parents.

Kian: (nag isip ng sasabihin) Gud por yu! Wel, wer ar yu steying naw?

Alien: I rented a condominium in (d ko maalala).

Kian: end antil wen ar yu gowing to stey hir?

Alien: Until February 20 i guess…

Kian: ah so yu hab a lat op taym to do da dans huh?

Alien: Haha! Yah you bet… Whats your name again?

Kian: aym Kian ser…

Alien: What? Kiyon? Well nice meeting you boy! im (nakalimutan ko pangalan)

Kian: Nays miting yu tu ser.

Alien: Blah blah blah!! harhar!! blah blah blah!

di ko na maalala ang ibang sinabi, One Piece na kasi eh. nanuod ako ng TV… hehe. Pag sapit namin sa SM Bacoor, nag paalam na siya… at take note, di lang sakin, kundi sa buong bus… haha

Alien: Bye,… uhh… Kiyon! I think this is the place that she told me to get off… Bye EVERYONE!

Kian: Gud lak on da dans ser, tek ker!

Alien: HOHOHO!

Pasaheros: hihi… giggle… hihi…

Nagtawanan ba ang mga katabi naming pasahero sa sinabi ko? Pag baba ng Alien, kinausap ako ng isa pang mama,

Manong: hoho. kanina pa daldal ng daldal yung kanong yun, yung katabi nun kanina bago ka sumakay dinaldal din. hoho

Kian: hehe…

Nakahinga ako ng maluwag at natuwa dahil pwede na ulit akong mag tagalog… phew… nakaraos din…

Moral Lesson:

"Balentayms is nir! Lets hag our belabed wans! end do da dril dans!"-Kian the Menace

Siguro of all the post that I created dito sa blog ko, ito lang ang seryoso… walang halong kalokohan…

Isang wala halos na tulog na gabi ang lumipas, ang tulog ko lang yata ay from 11pm to 12mn, then from 12 di na ko nakatulog dahil sa kasisisi sa sarili ko… ang resulta, para akong zombie. 4:30 am, I decided na bumangon na, kahit wala sa mood, naligo ako, at nag ayos para pumasok… Naglakad ako papuntang sakayan ng tricycle, wala parin ako sa sarili ko parang zombie parin, lumulutang ang isip ko. then a few minutes later, nakasakay na ko ng tricycle, then bumaba ng tricycle, then sumakay na ako ng bus. I still had the sadness, wala parin ako sa sarii ko. Then I said to my self, "This day is so perfect to die…", Tapos, umandar na ang bus, at ang nagpapandar ng bus ay ang Driver From Hell…

Nagulat ako sa mabilis na acceleration ng bus, napakabilis talaga! naisip ko tuloy yung inisip ko kanina na "…perfect day to die". Natakot ako, d ko inaasahang ganun ang mangyayari… Oh, God, ayaw ko pang mamatay… Humawak ako ng mahigpit sa hawakan… at di pa nakaka ahon ang bus namin sa Aguinaldo Highway, habang mabilis parin ang takbo ng bus, bumangga ang sinasakyan kong bus sa isa pang bus… CRASH! Di ko makalimutan ang sensation na naramdaman ko. Nadala ang katawan ko pa forward sa lakas ng impact… narinig ko ang mga sigaw ng mga pasahero… nagliparan ang maraming bubog sa bus…

Mabuti nalang at hindi ako sa bandang unahan naupo, kasi yung mga naupo dun ay naparaming sugat dahil sa basag na salamin…

Actually, this is the second time na nakaranas ako ng bus accident. yung accident na una ay binigyan ako ng minor cuts sa arms… At yung unang experience ko na yun ay talaga namang na trauma ako. natakot akong bumiyahe nun. almost 4 days akong takot na takot bumiyahe…

Sinwerte lang ako ngayon, mejo masakit lang yung chest ko kasi tumama sa harapang upuan, pero I’m OK, i knew it… siguro dahil i expected na mangyayari yun, kaya i braced my self for the collission(tama ba spelling?), kaya di ako masyadong nasaktan… Lumipat nalang ako ng bus na sinasakyan…

Ngayon, na realize ko na karma ko ito, karma sa mga nagawa kong pagkakamali… Ngayon ko napatunayan yung katagang "Be careful on what you wish for, cause you might get it…" Bakit ko nga ba sinabi na gusto ko nang mamatay?

God I’m so sorry… I learned my lessons na… I’ll never think or say those kinds of words again… Salamat po sa panibagong buhay…